Tuesday, November 3, 2009

It's been a while, had a great summer

Yeah, I know I haven't posted anything.  Gosh, has it really been since May that I've posted anything?  Haven't had much going on as far as the cancer goes.  I got the all-clear at the check-up in May, and have been trying my best to enjoy the summer.  It's strange, as it's basically been my first summer in the past three years that I haven't had to do some sort of treatment.  And it's been a good summer.  I got to go camping (to include kayaking, swimming, etc.), white water rafting (which was a blast!), some good mountain biking (but not as much as I wanted as I'm still really out of shape), and my mom's side of the family had a reunion.  Lots of fun there.  It was great to see all of my aunts, uncles and cousins.  Everyone was concerned for me when I was going through treatment, talking on the phone and stuff.  So, it was good for all of us to know that I'm in the clear now, and to be able to spend time with each other.   
 
So, I'm suppose to go this month some time to get my 1 year checkup.  Haven't gotten my appointments yet, but it's coming.  I'm sure everything is fine, but there's always that part in the back of my mind that says "what if the tests come back positive again?"  There will always be that shadow of doubt, but I keep trusting that the Lord will see me through.  I pray that I don't have to go through this again.  This whole transplant ordeal was more than enough for me.  Partly physical, but also the emotional side of it is really hard.  In fact, I'm still kind of struggling with some stuff emotionally.  I won't go into detail, but some of the people that I thought would be there to support me were no where to be found.  Even to this day. 
 
There are times that I just want to forget everything that's happened.  It's not that I'm ashamed of it or anything, but I just get tired of trying to deal with it all, or to have to explain everything from the beginning yet again.  I don't resent the person asking.  I know they're maybe being supportive and truly wanting to learn or whatever, but it's just exhausting.  
 
Another thing that's always on my mind, is that I feel like everyone I've met in the past few years, all they think about when they think of me is the cancer.  It was only a few months after I moved here that I was diagnosed, and pretty much my entire time here has been spent dealing with the cancer.  So, in my mind, I feel like that's all they associate with me.  And I know that, for some small part, it is true.  But maybe I'm just a little paranoid too.  It's just hard to discern which is which, because I just don't talk to hardly anyone any more.  Everyone has their lives to live, and when someone isn't able to be around, they kind of get left behind.  Or because of my lack of fitness, I haven't been able to go on too many excursions.  O'well, I just need to give it some more time, and hopefully everything will pick up again.  
 
Okay, anyways; all things considered I'm doing pretty good.  I'm finally getting back in to the gym, and really making a push to get back in to shape.  So I can basically do more stuff next year.  I definitely want to do more mountain biking, and maybe some hiking/backpacking, you know stuff like that.  One thing that I definitely have planned for next year is to do a "bike-packing" trip.  Basically a back packing trip, but instead of hiking, it's riding on the mountain bike.  You carry your stuff in a back pack, and also on racks on the bike.  You can cover more ground in a given time, and it's just a different dynamic.  I don't exactly know where I'm going to do my trip yet, but I have plenty of time to figure that out.  I've been reading a lot on different places to go, also what items to take, what not to take, etc.  I'm looking forward to it, and will surely post pictures once I finally get out and get to do this. 
Well, I'm sure that's enough for now.  Once I get my next set of tests completed and receive my results, I'll post again.  Until then, thanks to all of you who have read this blog.  It's been a good release for me, and my hope is that maybe someone will be encouraged or educated with my experiences and such.  Take care, and I hope everyone is doing good.  God bless.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Second 6-month update

Had my 6 month checkup today, or the scans and bone marrow biopsy.  Everything went pretty good, not in too much pain.  Where they do the bone marrow biopsy (top parts of the hip bone) is sore, but that's to be expected.  The blood work came back looking pretty good, but doesn't really show whether or not the cancer is back.  So, my follow-up appointment isn't until the 18th, so we'll see how things go.  I'm pretty sure everything is clear, because I'm feeling good.  Good enough to go to the gym and all that good stuff.  So, if you could, keep me in your prayers that everything is good to go. 
 
Other than that, everything has been pretty non-eventful.  Just working a lot, that's about it.  Hope everyone is doing good.


Thursday, April 16, 2009

Another Long Overdue Update

So, for those of you I haven't been in touch with in a while, I really do apologize. As of 26 February, I'm officially in the clear again. WooHoo! Seems like ever since I got the all clear, life has been a whirl-wind, which is partly why I haven't posted a new message for a while. I started back to work at the base the very next day, having to work over-time already too. And as of yesterday, I'm back to working part time at the bike shop. I'm feeling great, my strength has definitely come back, but I'm finding out that maybe I'm not 100% yet. The docs told me that all of the treatments I've been through, any type of physical fitness I may have had before, it's gone. And I packed on a few pounds along the way. So, I'm starting back at, pretty much, 0% fitness. No biggy though in my opinion, just means I can ony get better, right? I'm finally feeling good enough to get back to the gym and start riding my new mountain bike. Yes, you read that right, NEW MOUNTAIN BIKE ('09 Fisher X-caliber)! Just took her out on the maiden ride today. Being as how I'm so out of shape, I didn't get to ride much, but it definitely felt good to get out again. Got a good, solid hour ride in, partly still trying to adjust the levers and stuff to feel just right, but it was definitely fun. I attached a few pictures of it, for those interested. Of course this is after the first ride, and it's a little dirty. Who wants to see a clean bike?! haha

Anyways, I go back to the doctors in May for my 3 month checkup. I'm sure everything will be clear, but just for good measure, say a little prayer for me, will ya? After this checkup, I won't go back for another one until February of next year. It's definitely nice not having to go to the docs every single day for something, but now that I'm in the clear, it's been a strange experience not having to go back. Does that make sense? I was restricted from doing so much for so long, and now I have the freedom go back to doing what I "normally" do. It's defnitely an big adjustment to get use to, but I guess in a way it's a good thing, because it gives a chance to not do the same old routines, and to develop better, healthier ones. I guess that's what I'm trying to say. It's hard to explain I guess. Suffice to say, I'm not doing the same old thing, and trying to make it a habit to do better things.

So, that's really it for now. I'm feeling great, and glad to be done with this. Hopefully for the last time. Two times is enough!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Long overdue update

Wow, it's been a little while since I sent an update. I apologize to everyone I don't stay in contact with much. So, anyways, everything is going pretty good. I was officially discharged as a transplant patient on Dec. 19th, which was a great feeling. That basically means the transplant worked, and worked well. I did have to spend a few days in the hospital after treatment due to some bad sores in my throat. And I wasn't able to keep any food down for a few days. But everything is a lot better now. I'm getting my strength back finally, and ready to get back to life as normal. The docs won't let me yet, though. I'm still off from work, and not allowed to go to church or anything yet. I should be cleared to do all those things around the end of February. About the middle of February I get a full round of tests to make sure everything is going good. I could still have a spot or two of cancer, if so I'll probably have to have a round or two of radiation. We'll see though. If everything is clear and where it should be, then they'll clear me to go back to work and everything.

So, that means a lot of time at the apartment right now, either cruising around on the internet or playing my Nintendo Wii. The Wii is a lot of fun including Mario Kart, but I would like to get a few more games. I have a few friends who have Mario Kart also, and being able to play them online is pretty fun. Now, if I can just get my internet connection to work for more than 10 minutes at a time, I be cooking with gas. Other than that, life is pretty none-eventful these days. Nothing "exciting" or newsworthy to write of. So, if you have Mario Kart and connected to the internet, let's get a game together. It's a lot of fun!