Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Hitting the gym, finally again

Finally going back to the gym.  Found a good one here in Hagerstown that's only a few minutes away.  And it seems pretty good.  At the moment it's an Anytime Fitness, but the owner is going private, and expanding it.  Opening up a pool and other stuff.  So, I think it's going to be a good place to be at.

Have been really motivated, lately, to get back in to good shape.  Better than I've ever been.  One, to prove that I've overcome the cancer in the best way possible.  And two, to prove to all of those that have put me on the back-burner for other people or things, that they made a huge mistake.  I want them to look at me, and know that I should have never been looked over, that I'm better than everyone else that's been in their lives.  That I should have been thought of first.  I have a lot to offer as it is.  And will soon have a lot more.

And to all of those that have looked down on me, be it because of the cancer, or because I'm overweight, or any other reason, look out.  Cause you're about to be bowled over.  And the ones who put me behind them for someone else or something else, you'll be sorry.  You'll regret it.

Guess I just have a lot of frustration, and have no other outlet, so I suppose I'll let it out here.  I'm sick and tired of being thought of last.  Working out and bettering myself in every way possible seems to be a good way to get over this funk and depression I've been in.  The depression and loneliness has really kicked my butt lately.  Even with the move and new job, I'm still kind of down and out.  But lately just been more motivation than ever to get my ass going and to get to a better frame of being. 

The news that I'm cured of the cancer, back on March 19th, still hasn't really sunk in.  Still feel like the cancer is sort of like a dark cloud hovering over me.  Kind of wish that the fact I'm past it now would sink in.  Not sure what it's going to take, but hopefully soon I can move past it.  Maybe I never will, I don't know.  Maybe I need to use this for more than I can think of right now.  Who knows.  Still feel like I'm in a holding pattern with it.  Guess I just need some clarity on life.  But, thinking of that, who doesn't?

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